Monday, April 14, 2008

All Sardarji Jokes

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Prince Charles & Sardarji were having dinner.
Prince said, "Pass the wine you divine".
Sardar thinks "how poetic"
Sardar says, "pass the custard you bastard". ***********************************************
Sardar at bar in New York.
Man on his right says "Johny Walker single"
Man on his left says "Peter Scotch single"
Sardar says - "Baljith Singh Married
"***********************************************
Boss : I'm giving u job as a driver.
STARTING salary Rs.2000 /-, is it o.k
Sardar : U R great sir! Starting salary is o.k.......but?? how much is DRIVING salary...?***********************************************
2 sardars are driving a Car,
one puts on the indicator and asks the other to check whether its working,
He puts his head out and saysYES...NO...YES...NO...YES...NO...
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Sardar shouting 2 his girl friend " u said v will do register marriage and cheated me,

I was waiting 4 u yesterday whole day in the post office....
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A Tamilian calls sardar and asks "tamil therima??"
Sardar got mad, angrily replied.... "Hindi tera baap!!!" ***********************************************
2 sardarjis looking at Egyptian mummy.
Sar 1 : Look so many bandages, pakka lorry accident case.
Sar 2 : Aaho, lorry number is also written...BC 1760!!!...
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A sardar on an interview 4 da post detective.
Interviewer : who killed Gandhi?
Sardar : Thank u sir 4 giving me d job, I will start investigating....... **********************************************
Interviewar: what s ur qualification?
Sardarji : Sir I am Ph.d.I
nterviewar : what do u mean by Ph.d?
Sardarji : (smiling) PASSED HIGHSCHOOL with DIFFICULTY....
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Amitab : In which state Cauvery flows?
Sardar : liquid state.....
Audience clapped.. Amitab stunned, looks behind, ALL WERE SARDARS.......
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Boss: Where were you born?
sardar : Punjab.
Boss : which part ?
sardar : Kya which part ? Whole body born in punjab.

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sardar were fixing a bomb in a car.
Sardar 1 : What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing.
sardar 2 : Dont worry, I have a one more.

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Sardar : What is the name of your car ?
Lady : I forgot the name, but is starts with "T".
Sardar : Oye Kamaal ki gaadi hai, Tea se start hoti hai. Hamaara gaadi
petrol se start hoti hai.

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Sardar was busy removing a wheel from his auto. A man asks sardar why
are you removing a wheel from your auto.
sardar : Cant you read the board. Parking is only for 2 wheeler.


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Sardar got into a bus on 1st April when conductor asked for ticket. He gave Rs.10/- and took the ticket and said April fool. I have pass.
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Sardar joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the computer. Boss was happy and asked what you did till evening. Sardar : Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright.
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On a romantic day sardar's girlfriend asks him. Darling on our engagement day will you give me a ring. Sardar : Ya sure, from landline or mobile.
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Doctor to patient : You will die within 2 hours. Do you want to see any one before you die? Patient : Yes. A good doctor.
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How will you destroy a submarine full of sardars ?
Simple. Just knock the door and they will open it....
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Santa apni girl friend ko I Luv U kehta hai aur gir jata hai.
Gal: Yeh kya kar rahe ho?
Santa: I'm falling in love.

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Santa: Today is Sunday & I wanna njoy, so I bought 3 movie tickets
Jeeto: Why 3?
Santa: For you and your parents

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Museum Administrator: That's a 500-year-old statue u've broken.
Banta: Thanks God! I thought it was a new one.

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A man to Santa: Aao ji chess khelein
Santa: Tu chal mein sports shoes pehen kar aaya.

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At the scene of an accident a man was crying: O God! I have lost my
hand, oh!
Santa: Control yourself. Don't cry. See that man. He has lost his
head. Is he crying?

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In an interview, Interviewer: How does an electric motor run? Santa: Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr. .... Inteviewer shouts: Stop it. Santa: Dhhuurrrr dhup dhup dhup...
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Santa was getting bitten by mosquitoes the whole night. He got irritated... drank poison & said, Ab kaato saalon, sab maroge!
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Banta: U cheated me.
Shopkeeper: No, I sold a good radio to u.
Banta: Radio label shows Made in Japan but radio says This is all
India Radio!

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Tourist: Whose skeleton is that?
Santa: Tipu's skeleton.
Tourist: Whose that smaller skeleton next to it?
Santa: That was Tipu's skeleton when he was child

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Punjabi Luv letter of RAM to SITA

Pyari SITA,
Main itthe raaji khushi haan and hope ke tu v theek thaak hovengi,
Laxman tannu bahut yaad karda si.
Main is Baandar de haath tennu chitthi bhej reha haan,
Tu bilkul tension na layi te main bahot jaldi tenu ravan kolo chura lavanga.
Main AIRTEL da postpaid le liya si,
RAVAN nu main mobile te bhot GAALIYAAN kadiya te SAALE ne katt ditta,
Chal koi ni main aana ta hai hi.
Taan KUTUNGA saale KANJAR nu.
Main tere naal bhi ek AIRTEL ka prepaid bhej riya si usme 1500 SMS free wali scheme ha,
Tu roz mere ko SMS kari.
Chinta na kari, jadd bhi gal karne nu ji kare, ek miss call mar diyo.
Main ittho tenu phone kar levenga.
Tu Mere bill di chinta na kari, Sugreev nu payment da jimma de ditta si.

Accha OKSee Uuuu.

With Luv,
Dashrath da Vadda Puttar "RAM"

Saturday, April 12, 2008

Enjoy Hot Jokes

Hey,
Leave your all the tension & enjoy the Hot & double senced jokes :



  • DON'T LOOK AT NAKED LADY

    Boy 1: Why do you run from a naked lady?
    Boy 2: Becos my mum said that if I look at a naked
    lady, I'll turn into stone. A part of me is getting hard
    already!

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  • NAMES OF WIVES
    A malay man had 4 wives, and he called his...
    4th wife..... baby doll
    3rd wife.....china doll
    2nd wife.....barbie doll
    1st wife..... panadol !

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  • HOW INDIA GOT ITS NAME
    This is how India got its name.....
    The king was having sex with his mistress while
    thinking a name of his
    country and his mistress ask him "is it In Dear?"...

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  • RESEARCH FINDING
    Research shows men are fatter than women because
    every-night men get fresh milk & 2 papayas
    women only get 1 banana, 2 peanuts & 1 tea-spoon of starch!

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  • ARAB MAN
    An arab was being interviewed at a US checkpoint.
    'Your name pls.'?
    "Abdul Aziz "
    "Sex? "
    "Six times a week!! "
    "No, no, I mean male or female! "
    "Doesn't matters, sometimes even camel !"

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  • SERVICE
    Sex is like a restaurant.
    Sometimes you get full satisfactory service, and
    sometimes you have to be
    satisfied with self-service"

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  • HAPPY MAN
    What makes a happy man?
    Daughter on the cover of cosmo.
    Son on the cover of sports illustrated.
    Mistress on the cover of playboy
    and .. Wife on the cover of "missing
    persons"

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  • SWIMSUIT
    Why was the 2-piece swimsuit invented?
    To separate the HAIRY section from the DAIRY
    section.

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  • GOOD AMBITION
    Teacher: What do you want to become?
    Little Johnny: Doctor !!
    Teacher: Why?
    Little Johnny: Coz its the only profession where u can tell a
    woman to take
    off her clothes and ask her husband to pay for it.

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  • DENTIST
    Woman complaining to dentist: "It's so painful, I'll rather
    have a baby
    than have a tooth removed."
    Dentist: "Make up your mind soon, I'll adjust the chair
    accordingly."

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  • VIRGIN
    Old lady, 85, a virgin, about to die. wanted her
    tombstone to read :
    BORN A VIRGIN, LIVED A VIRGIN, DIED A VIRGIN.
    The engraver shortened it to: " RETURNED UNOPENED "

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  • OLD MAN AND YOUNG GIRL
    75 yr old man got married to a 15 yr girl.
    On their first night both were crying - why???
    Coz she didn't know anything, and he had forgotten
    everything.